A light hearted look at photographers

Photographer

What photographers mean when they say . . .

When photographers say – What I try to evoke through my photography is the feeling I experienced at the time of pressing the shutter.
They actually mean – I see stuff and then take pictures of it.

When photographers say – I try to capture a fleeting moment in time in my images.
They actually mean – I see stuff and then take pictures of it. Or rather, I don’t see stuff as I tend to shoot at the fastest frame rate and HOPE TO GOD I get something.

When photographers say – I prefer to work in the black and white.
They actually mean – I love the way I can rescue poor exposures with a black and white conversion. Hopefully my burnt-out highlights won’t be quite so obvious now.

When photographers say – I love taking pictures of ordinary people.
They actually mean – I can’t light a portrait to save my life, but craggy old folk or homeless people in unflattering light? Bingo!

When photographers say – I work primarily with natural light.
They actually mean – My flash photography is awful. Seriously, it is awful.

When photographers say – I only carry out minimal post-processing.
They actually mean – Photoshop confuses me. I can shuffle the Unsharp Mask sliders left and right a bit, but I really have no idea what I’m doing.

When photographers say – I love the way that you’ve processed your photos.
They actually mean – I’d love to copy that look – can you tell me how you did it?

When photographers say – There are so many alternatives to Photoshop out there!
They actually mean – I can’t afford Photoshop.

When photographers say – I’m a reportage-style wedding photographer
They actually mean – Having to herd wedding guests into shape for a formal group portrait,  (let alone talk to them) absolutely terrifies me and don’t even get me started on off-camera lighting

When photographers say – (To a model) Just sit/stand how you feel comfortable
They actually mean – Honestly, love, I really have no clue how to pose you for this picture.

When photographers say – I’m completely self-taught
They actually mean – Hell, if you don’t think my pictures are any good now, you should have seen them a few years ago, before I read a photography magazine!

When photographers say – For me, photography is about more than just taking pictures, it’s about telling stories.
They actually mean – Yeah, those photos on my Flickr are supposed to be as blurred and badly composed as one of your dad’s Polaroids from the 70s, they’re documentary style, see?

When photographers say – To be honest, my camera is just a tool
They actually mean – To be really honest, I don’t know what half the stuff on my DSLR does.

When photographers say – I’m thinking of going full-frame
They actually mean – I believe that a full-frame camera will instantly allow me to make professional-looking pictures.

When photographers say – Honestly, I can do 99% of my work with an f/4 lens – I can’t see any advantage in getting the f/2.8 version.
They actually mean – I wish I could afford the faster, f/2.8 version.

When photographers say – The light’s just not right
They actually mean – I’m all out of ideas. I don’t know what to take pictures of in this light.

When photographers say – It’s what’s behind the camera that counts.
They actually mean – I need a new camera.

When photographers say – I started to take photography seriously three years ago.
They actually mean – I bought my first DSLR three years ago.

When photographers say – What settings are you using?
They actually mean – I’m not confident with this expensive camera,these dials and menus might as well all be in Latin. You look like a real photographer, and I’d like to take EXACTLY the same picture as the one that you’re taking right now.

When photographers say – I’ll fix that later.
They actually mean – I’d rather spend hours touching up this photo than moving that wheely bin out of shot.

How can Allinson’s Photography help you?
Telephone: 0191 645 7736 Mobile: 07736 250 624 e mail Bruce Allinson
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